School holidays finish on Monday. Its depressing. I start my final year of high school. :S Well, its good that its nearly over, but I cant come to terms with the fact that I have to take school seriously this year. I cant concerntrate.
About Nick... everythings going well with him. Hes sick with glandular fever though. I have a bit of a problem. The other day he told me that I treat him like shit, then I got upset, and he said sorry, and that i dont really. But the thing is, I've been thinking alot about it and maybe its true. I guess I can be a bit high maintainance. The thing is though, that its been the opposite in all my previous relationships. Until this year, I have been an extremely submissive person. Lately I stopped letting people walk all over me and I'm scared Iv now reached the other end of the spectrum. Like I make him wait around while I spend an hour getting ready, and apparently I point out all his flaws. I dont know when Im crossing the line, because arent you supposed to tell people when they upset you, if you want to keep a stable relationship? I dont say anything to him, that I wouldnt respect if he said it to me. Hes Yugoslav, so hes very feisty. He gets tempramental when he feels guilty. When I tell him Im not in the mood for sex etc, he will take it to heart, and if he doesnt stop, so i reinforce that I dont want it, then he will get all moody and say im making him sound like a rapist. Im confused! Also, Im a bit wierd, I have OCD and I do random shit all the time, and get focused and wont stop until its complete. For example, today I found an antfarm kit in my garage, and decided to collect ants to put in it (Im 17, a bit old dont you think?) then I spent hours on it, while nick was waiting in the other room. Firstly, making an ant farm is wierd in itself, but then NOT BEING PHYSICALLY ABLE TO STOP to be with nick is even stranger. I need help!
3 comments:
I've been a bit worried about you because I haven't seen you in so long. I found myself fretting and thought..my god..if something happened to her I would never know!!
:)
I don't know about where you go to school, but the last few years of school are the most important if you are wanting to go to college. You should be now looking at the schools and sending applications to the schools you are interested in. Maybe it works differently in Australia, but this last year can be hectic.
What do you want to do after school? Are you planning to go to college or university?
I feel bad for Nick and hope that he gets to feeling better soon.
It's great that you have stopped allowing people to walk all over you. You could give me a lesson on it now. :)
I am tired, so this may not come out exactly like I want, but if he feels you are pickng out his flaws, then try to get into a habit with yourself where you stop yourself right before you are going to say something. While thinking about it for one minute, ask yourself the following:
1) What am I trying to express to him?
2) How can I predict on how he will react?
3) Do I really need to say this?...what benefit will be gotten by saying this? What negative benefit will be gained by saying it. Does the negative outweigh the positive?
I guess in a round-about way I'm saying it could be good to pick your battles. So instead of him feeling like you are "pointing out all his flaws" all the time, just pick your battles and he won't feel that way.
I hope I'm making sense. I'm half asleep typing this. :)
I know Nick is ill and therefore I will not be too hard on him.. well... maybe I won't be too hard on him.
For a guy who's being so down trodden, he has a lot to say about your 'flaws'.
Catherine's right.. you can make changes to how you think and behave.. a little bit of practice is all it takes.
But you also have the right to tell someone that you don't want to have sex and be listened to and not be made to feel guitly.
And as for the ant farm.. when do we get too old for ant farms?
And Catherine's right again.. look forward.. go to Uni.. it's much more fun than work. And you don't want to wait til you're as old as me to study. The social life is not as good when you're old, the fun takes so much more effort and the old brain isn't as sharp as it once was so the study bit is no joke either!
Well said, Happy! You go, girl!! :)
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